Why I'm crazy today...

is really a continual buildup from the past few days and weeks and months.  I've been trying to not stress and worry about all of this mess, but my mind just pops from one stressor to the next.  I'll try to make sense, forgive me if it doesn't.

Noah is starting his allergy skin tests on July 15th.  He'll then have the second set two weeks later, then the third two weeks after that.   He has to be off all allergy meds for two weeks prior to the test.  We had to reschedule the first one since I stupidly forgot to stop his meds till just ten days before.  He'll end up being off them for 6 weeks or the tests won't be viable.  He stopped his meds on Wednesday.  Yesterday he was sniffly.  Today he has a headache and has been sneezing so much that he burst a blood vessel and had a doozy of a nosebleed in the car on the way to the vet.  Took several minutes to get it to stop as we're flying up I-35.  His MRI isn't until July 20th for his headaches.  Somehow we have to keep him healthy enough to survive the testing.  The endocrinologist ordered a bunch of tests on Monday, haven't heard anything back from those yet either.  We saw a dietician in their office which now has Noah believing he'll die if he eats a cookie.  I hate skinny doctors.  He's also been having more frequent asthma attacks since we reduced those meds last month.  I'm just not sure taking him off his allergy meds is best for him right now, but they can't test him otherwise.

Cheesecake came through her surgeries just fine.  We had her spayed and declawed.  They scared us by calling this morning using "serious" voices, but it was just to get permission for ear mite treatment.  She was purring in the kennel when she saw us at the vet.    She has to be very cautious about rough treatment and kept contained for two weeks.  Chewy play fights with her, and she play fights with Shadow, so she needs to stay locked up so she doesn't reopen something.  We have a small pet taxi for vet visits, but it would be cruel to keep her in that.  Our superlarge kennel is currently housing Leia and her poochies.  We had to buy a second big kennel just for Cheesecake to stay in for two weeks.  It is big enough to put her litter box with her special litter down at the one end while she sleeps on our bath rug at the other.  We'll use it again for Shadow next month, so it isn't really wasted money, just more that we really cannot afford to spend right now.

We promised the kids their own Nintendo DS after the van fire took their vsmiles.  We found Noah's early last week, only $60 with 5 games.  We fnally found Savannah's cobalt one today.  We spent $61 for the system and 5 games.  Very happy about that.  Our adventure was driving to Allen to pick it up.  Sarah was taking the kids to the movies while we went to pick it up.  We were ten minutes out when she called.  Camp was being evacuated, so she was having to go pick up her Corps kids immediately.  Savannah was really upset to be missing her Hannah Montana movie for the third time and was inconsolable.  We circled back to pick up the kids to go with us.  The three hour drive was really fun since we did not have any available entertainment for them on the way out.  On the way back, they played her super-nice, mint condition DS. 

Any time I get incredibly stressed, Matt balances me and keeps me strengthened.  Right now, he is one of my greatest worries.  Initially he didn't want this shared, but I need to know there's an army of prayer warriors on this.  Matt went to the doctor June 5th for his throat.  He has been having terrible muscular pain around his vocal chords since January.  Some of his music teacher friends have had similar issues, ended up being polyps from over-using the vocal chords which would require surgery and end his teaching career.  The doctor ordered a full bloodwork done and a CT scan.  His CT is scheduled for July 15th, just a few hours after Noah's allergy tesing.  The doctor also ordered an MRI of his knee since it has been getting steadily more painful and has started dropping him.  The doctor called Friday with Matt's lab results.  His liver enzymes are dangerously elevated, indicating possible cirrhosis, but Matt has only consumed maybe 3-4 alcoholic beverages in his entire life.  More blood testing was done on Tuesday, but no results from that have come back to us yet.    The liver enzymes may or may not have anything to do with his throat.  I'm scared and worried and afraid for him.

Savannah is a very emotional girl.  She is still having nightmares from the fire and cries at anything.  She is worrying herself sick over Noah and Matt.   I don't know how to help her get through all of this.  I keep trying to redirect her thoughts to more positive subjects, like her birthday and the puppies.

The four remaining girl puppies are doing great.  Their eyes are starting to open and they're getting rather active.  I love listening to their little yips when they try to bark.  They're getting closer to hand-sized now and cute as can be. Their little snouts are getting itty bitty curly hairs nd their body hair is starting to get long enough to curl as well.  We have decided to sell them for $200 each once they are 8 weeks old, but are not taking reservations or holding them for anyone.   I love the pretty black one, we've named her Allie.  Muppet has the most personality, in my opinion.  She is Noah's favorite.  I don't know if we'll keep one or sell all four.  Three dogs is alot, but seven would definitely be too many.

I made banana pancakes for dinner, smothered with strawberries, a touch of syrup and a bit of cool whip.  They are scrumptious.

Savannah's topsy turvy now has two green tomatoes.  The other one has fireants and no tomatoes.  Noah's watermelon plants are about 4-5 foot long vines, very pretty but no fruit or flowers yet.  He keeps checking. 

Bizarre

Apparently, I am now a product.  Found this while boredom surfing tonight.

https://scrapitsassy.com/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=4613

See my name under my quote in the middle?  How weird is that????  People are buying my name.  Crazy.

SHOPPING QUEST!!!!

I desperately need all of my shopping buddies to help with this one.  I am looking for a dress for Savannah to replace hers that burned up in the van fire.  She started her birthday wish list and the top item was "anything lost in the van fire".  When I asked her which ones she wanted the most, it was her aqua dress and her white dressy sandals with the silver butterflies.  She only got to wear it a few hours at Sarah's commissioning, then the fire consumed it that afternoon.  I've hunted and hunted, but cannot find another.  The aqua dress was purchased at JC Penney's in late May.  Ours does not have any in stock, nor does their website.  Their customer service says they can't search the dress without a SKU number.  I need my shoppers on this one.  The dress is by Disorderly Kids in a size 10.  I found a similar one on ebay in a smaller size:

This skirt fabric is the exact shaded aqua fabric hers was made of, even with the seafoam chiffon at the bottom.  In the older girl sizes, the top was made with thick spaghetti straps and more slim-lined, styled more like this one:

If you find her aqua dress, please buy it in a sz 10, or a size 12.  I'll gratefully refund the cost plus shipping.  Or if you find it online, send me the link.  I originally bought it at JCPenneys, but I've heard Sears carries this brand as well.  Thank you in advance for helping me in this.

Talk me off the ledge

I need honest opinions, no feelings will be hurt.

Leia had her puppies a week early on Tuesday.  Out of six, five survived.  They're not thriving very well.  One almost died Tuesday night, another on Wednesday.  She is trying to nurse them, but her milk still hasn't come in, so we're bottle feeding them ourselves every two hours.  The kids have been handling them since they're helping with the feedings.  Leia rejected one, so it is being fostered by Amanda.

Leia was abused by her previous owners.  It has taken a long time for her to not flinch when we reach to pet her.  She is very food aggressive and has to be fed seperately from the rest of our menagerie.  Whenever visitors come over, she has to be put up because she snarls at strangers.  A few times, she has snarled or snapped at the kids over their toys, or such.

Today, we were showing my Mom the puppies in our driveway. Savannah, Noah, and I came in the house together with the pups.  Shadow, our 8 week old kitten,  had fallen asleep in the kennel.  Before the puppies were born, that was where she always slept.  Leia ran into the kennel, grabbed her by the throat and began to shake her.  Savannah was already at the kennel door putting down her puppy when this happened.  She screamed NO, but Leia kept shaking her.  Shadow escaped only to be pursued and shaken by the throat  6 times total.  Leia was snarling, snapping and growling at the three of us while this was going on.  Shadow ran past Noah, Leia tried to climb up his front, snapping at his face as he screamed.  Noah was trying to climb up in my bed away from her but she kept on going at him.  She chased under the bed after the kitten.  Savannah was on the other side and Leia went after her, biting at her stomach and catching her teeth in Savannah's shirt.  I had to hit her several times with my hand, then finally with Matt's cane to make her let go of savannah.  She then went for the kitten again and kept shaking her and trying to rip her throat out.  She had the kitten by the throat on the floor and was using both paws to hold it still while she pulled with her teeth.  I had to hit her hard a second time with Matt's cane before she finally released the kitten and we chased her out the back door. 

Shadow had to be resuscitated.  She was really still for about ten minutes after I got her breathing again.     This was four hours ago and she hasn't done much but slept.  When I put her in the floor to make her walk, she is really wobbly and can't stay upright for long.  I'm hoping she survives.  I called vet and they said if no bones are broke and no bleeding, there's nothing they could do for her.

The kids are both very terrified.  Savannah was shaking and crying for awhile.  Noah was hiding in the bathroom with Blankie.

I'm terrified Leia might try this again.  She is now snarling at me when I try to retrieve the pups for feeding.  Attacking the kitten was terrible, but I understand she thought she was protecting her babies.  Her continued attack, and going after the kids is inexcusable.  I cannot have dangerous animals around my kids.  The kids could not fight her off or escape her.  Do you think she needs to go to a new home?  Do you think we should keep her and see if she nicens up?  She has been aggressive before, but never to this level. I'm concerned that since she has attacked the kids once, they could easily be her target again.  I'm incredibly tired from feeding the puppies, so I may not have the clearest perspective right now.  I'm asking for honest opinions.

Remains of van

Blankie did not survive the fire as well as it could have.  Shortly before the fire, Jack had spilled his entire route 44 drink all over Blankie.  I put the wet mass down in the runner board besid my seat, on the opposite side from the gas tank.  Being wet is what saved Blankie.  Blankie was melted to the floor, but we were able to get most of out.  After a very thorough bleaching, I cut off the damaged pieces and Noah is very happy to have part of Blankie to still love on.

My two children and I had two suitcases and one backpack.  Only this one survived.  It was full of all the wet clothing, swimsuits and beach towels.  Out of 7 play outfits for each child, two dressy outfits for each, and all of my clothing, we had less than half a washerful survive.  It all fit in two Wal-Mart bags.

Front of the van.  Mary was driving, Jack was sleeping i the passenger seat.

Close-up of front.

Driver's door.

Middle interior.  Mary bought Mama the $500 wheelchair just for this trip.  My backpack was in the far seat.  I had moved it while evacuating the kids and Mama, didn't think to pull it out. It held both dvd players, kids' medecine bag, my camera, mp3, and camcorder.

Close-up of my seat on the far side and Mama's seat in the foreground.  You can see the charred dvd players in my seat.  The melted mass between the seats was the keyboard with Josh's phone melted to it.  Mama's seat was just above the gas tank.  The kids' movie case, with about 230 movies and cds inside, was hanging on the back of the seat. 

Rear bench seat where Noah, Josh, and Savannah sat.  It received the least damage.

That is Daddy's laptop melted to the ice chest.

Close-up of laptop.

Close-up of back seat.

Interior view of van from back doors.

Looking through the rear doors, Mama's suitcase, some of the ruined clothing we threw back, and my lovely sno-cone maker was inside the red bag.  The heat melted half of the snocone maker.

Mama's suitcase.

A few of the ruined garments from my charred red suitcase.

Josh put two of Mary's bags inside the empty ice chest behind back bench seat.  They were unharmed, just smelt bad.

Flash flame blew out the windows when the gas tank exploded.  Guys had to pry open door cause it was locked and keys were in the now non-existent ignition.

Passenger side where everyone jumped out.  Blankie was at the bottom of the left door, between my seat and the wall.

Burned ground at gas station.

And the only injury sustained was a firefighter that received a small scratch from reaching over a busted window.  Didn't even bleed.